5 Life-Altering Ways To Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language

Psychologists state that great relationships thrive with good communication. It is in many times the reason why many marriages beautifully succeed and many others don’t. That’s where love languages come into play, discovered by the research of the conspicuous Christian Dr. Gary Chapman. Love languages are a form of communication that can be relationship-changing. When you start communicating in the love language of your spouse, EVERYTHING can change. That’s why it is so important for spouses to figure out the love languages of their other half.

We are creatures of desire and love. As such, there are many love languages, not just one. But first, in really simple terms, what are love languages? It’s his or her “emotional communication preference” according to Dr. Chapman, the Christian doctor and researcher who figured out this amazing discovery with years of research. It’s the way your spouse prefers to receive love.

It’s the way in which he or she wants to be loved.

Dr. Chapman discovered we all have a specific love language that’s the most meaningful key to our heart. There are five love languages, so to figure out your spouse’s love language you’re gonna be in the task of testing and experiment to see how he o she reacts. Note: Your spouse shouldn’t know that you’re conducting this experiment.

As it is obvious, our beautiful Christ is the master of love, and He is the absolute BEST and greatest example of the most beautiful expression of each love language. In an attempt to understand the love languages of a person, He is the best example to learn from.  We’ll show you how you can learn from Him within each love language.

So, The 5 Love Languages Are:

1. Words of Affirmation

For the ones whose love language is words of affirmation, the way to their hearts is words of love, encouragement, appreciation and care. Detailed love letters, a simple “You mean a lot to me”, “I love you”, “you always amaze me” or “I’m so proud of you” at the end of a busy day goes straight to the pleasure center in their brain. To them, those kind of words mean more than anything.

Of course, the Lord Jesus Christ, the master of love, teaches us this love language in the most beautiful way in John 21:16:

John 21:16: “Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” 17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

2. Quality Time

Learn from the master of love language, the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the author of all love.

According to Dr. Chapman, if this is the love language of your spouse, he or she will be more seduced by the idea of spending time together than anything else. For him or her, an afternoon spent on a favorite hobby, a weekend at the beach or perhaps a complete day by your side doing absolutely nothing, will be more meaningful to that person than anything. This is the love language of time.

Again, our beautiful Lord Jesus, the master of love, is the best example that can illustrate this love language with an precise, perfectly accurate depiction, so that we can learn. Because He loves us more than anything, He stated in John 28:20:

John 28:20: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age”.

3. Receiving Gifts

Learn about love language from the master of love, our beautiful Lord Jesus Christ
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Unsplash

This love language discovered by Dr. Chapman is just as its name depicts. If your spouse’s love language is Receiving Gifts, then he or she will be more deeply touched and seduced by small tokens of appreciation, surprises, holiday gifts, and thoughtful gifts that reveal that you have put a lot of special attention, lovely detail and careful selection into them. To the spouse that possesses this particular love language, those detailed gifts that have a little bit of his or her personality embedded into them will drive them crazy. It’s the ultimate expression of love for them.

Again, it’s our beautiful Lord and God who illustrates with accurate perfection the best example of this love language. Our Lord Jesus Christ gave us the biggest gift anyone in mankind will ever receive. This gift we find in: John 3:16 and Ephesians 2:8.

John 3:16: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”.

Ephesians 2:8: For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast”.

This is so beautiful it makes me want to cry. The Lord gives the most beautiful and best gifts ever because He knows how to love better than anyone.

4. Physical Touch

Learn about love language from the master of love, our beautiful Lord Jesus Christ
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According to Dr. Chapman, the ones who have this love language will be absolutely just transported out of this world by a physical touch. They will feel connected to the one they love through a hug, a soft stroke of hair, a light caress of your fingers over his or her face, holding hands or another meaningful touch in public. They need to be in physical proximity to the one they love, which will make their hearts explode with happiness.

Again, it’s our Lord Jesus Christ, the master of love, the best example you can learn from in this love language. He always wants to be in physical proximity to the Christians He loves. That’s why He beautifully stated in John 28:20:

John 28:20: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age”.

How beautiful is this. Glory to Him.

5. Acts of Service

Learn about love language from the master of love, our beautiful Lord Jesus Christ
Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

The last but definitely not least love language, Acts Of Service, consists of one simple thing. If your spouse has this love language, he or she is going to fall head over heels for you if you go out of your way to do something that relieves pressure on them. This includes helping them out when they’re tired, even if you’re tired too after a busy day of work, which they will notice and love you for it. Running errands, helping them on special projects, or assisting them with some activity when they know you don’t particularly enjoy it. This will go straight to their heart.

Of course, the Lord Jesus Christ is again the most beautiful example of this final and last love language. We can see this in John 13:4-6, which beautifully shows us:

John 13:4: “So He got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”

 If you want to improve, protect or work on your marriage, you can go the post here to learn a lot more of everything a great marriage in Christ needs.

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    • Thank you Marilyn, we’ve fixed it and you should be able now to go the page! God bless!


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